Sometimes life hits you hard that u don’t wanna show up. As
in you wanna lock yourself up because you just don’t get the drift. YOU just
don’t get it!..If it was even possible you’d drop out! Like school, you know?
But now when you do it in life you are done! And the funny things most trials
come when you are doing so well and are in a good place in your life. And your
peace is just disturbed sooo sooo bad. You wanna sleep through the pain and
disappointments and accumulate days and hope by the time you wake up, the
feeling will be gone.Put life off until you're ready.
Unfortunately it just doesn’t work like that. You wake up
with a heavy heart and it is heavy..and you have to go through the days and
smile at people eve when you don’t feel like..Because really it’s not their
fault that you’re feeling this way. And that’s what I’ve learnt that Pain is
part of life..What we need to do is to find a way to traverse the hell..And it’s
exhausting..Nobody wants it, press skip Ad! Nobody got time for it but
somebody’s got to do it right? And that somebody is you.. So at the end of the
day it’s I have to show up..Sad or not it’s got to be done. Life has to be
lived..Battles have to be won…otherwise that bed, that bottle is not gonna give
you answers.
So I’ll tell you that I reached a point in my life that I
was really trying hard to do things the right way..Not perfect..Don’t get it
twisted..You even can’t but..to be a good person in general..No 2bob madharaus.
Basically just being an example of how you wanna be treated by others..coz I am a big advocate
of treating the next person how you wanna be treated..with respect. If you are
good to people they will reciprocate n vice versa..That’s not to say you will
not find evil people who don’t give a fuckin fly about anything. That’s their
nature. Such you can’t control them, so you keep it moving.
Nway the upside of that kind of living..I call it safe
living is almost like walking ahead but looking at your footsteps. You can see
where you are going but from the ground..You can’t see up! It’s very unlikely
that you will step on anything foreign or even trip on something..But guess
what? You can’t see what’s coming from a
bird’s eye view..And you know what happens you will bump into something and
your whole body will be in it. It’s quite painful. Kinda like walking looking down then you walk into glass *Bam*..You have no control because
you never saw it coming. You were busy tracking your steps. But when your head
is up you trust your feet to cooperate but you can’t trust your head to
cooperate with your feet when it’s facing down. You have to be aware of your
surrounding. Chances are you will trip but you will enjoy the view up there.
Don’t be too careful coz u miss out and eventually you realize sometimes
somethings are not really upto you.
In a nutshell what I’ve learnt these past weeks is You Have
no control ..You can shape the events and that’s the best you can do. From
there on you just have to live by trusting that things will go well.
How many times do you find yourself wishing if only I did
this or that..This would have never happened. And you keep going over and over
and replaying the situation but the worst part is you just can’t..It’s already
happened. The best you can do is learn from it so the next time you can shape
the outcome just a little bit leaving room for the inevitable. And in life
accidents happen all the time not necessarily car accidents but just like car
accidents sometimes it’s not about you and your driving..You may follow all the
rules on the road, you are not the only one on the road.. how about the other
driver? They could be reckless, they could be learning, they could be drunk,
they could be looking to end their own life, they could be anything and that
contributes to a head on. You could be at the right place at the right time, or
the right place at the wrong time or at the wrong place at the wrong time and
you easily become the target. And that goes to shows you how in life you can
control everything in your life all you want, but you can’t control other
people and their actions. We only hope and pray for the best.
XO
ReNa
